Where I'm at on my Weight Loss Journey 

I've been meaning to start a blog of thoughts since I started my weight loss journey on August 28th, 2022. I am finally getting around to it and it is much needed. I will go back and update my weight loss journey thus far. I am on the Bernstein at Home diet. It took a few weeks to get on it, but I finally reached 199 pounds.. ONEDERLAND (lost 30 pounds as I started at 230), which was a huuuge goal for me since 2014. I was so happy.

I seem to have a history of self sabotage every time I get to where I want to be, I fuck up. Well that is what I did. After I hit 199, I went off the diet slowly, but surely. I have went back to old habits of eating junk like chocolate and chips. I also this past week have been eating more carbs and generally feel like shit again. I have been avoiding the scale for a week or so, but I will get on the scale tomorrow for sure. I was waiting for my package to arrive with my vitamin cocktail where I take injections three times a week of vitamin B6 and B12. I also take a multivitamin and four B vitamin tablets a day (two in the morning with breakfast and two at lunch). 

I NEED to get back on track. I want to get to 160-170 or even 150. I know I am probably about 205 now after eating so much over the past week and a half or so. I have a month or so till Xmas and want to lose some more weight by then and beyond. I am hoping to get to my goal by May next year if I follow the diet. I've really gotten off track, but I know what I have to do. I also stopped going to the gym the last few weeks. I was so into the gym and feeling really good and strong. I got this! Why do I let food control me it seems? When I'm stressed or bored I tend to eat. I got out of the habit of eating bad for over two months, now I just have to get back to where I was. I am going to make a conscious effort to get back on this diet tomorrow. No more junk! This junk is so bad for me. Sugar, fat, oil, it is slowly killing me. 

I can't believe we live in a society that has junk at every turn. In pharmacies, grocery stores, etc.. it is everywhere. No wonder obesity is on the rise and cancer/diabetes is exploding. So may plan for tomorrow is to come home, eat and go to the gym. It is getting cold out and hard to motivate myself to get to the gym, but if I don't then I eat instead things I'm not supposed to. 

I'll check in tomorrow and let you know how my day went tomorrow. My plan is to eat on plan and go to the gym. No junk tomorrow night. It will be a hard detox to get back in ketosis.. I'm sure it'll take four days to a week, but I have to start tomorrow (Wed). No excuses. I deserve this. I deserve to feel and look good. I need to put myself as a priority. God darn it, I feel like I'm so hopeless sometimes. Food addiction is a real thing. It is no joke. I fear it is a psychological issue more than anything. I am using this blog as a counsellor to be able to motivate myself and just let out my thoughts. I want to make a huge change in the next six months. I got this!